In my last posting entitled “Perspective Shift” I wrote of an internal nemesis, that aspect within each of us who behaves punitively toward ourselves and others, the one leveling harsh judgments ensuring we are not too happy. The one setting up
prohibitions and impeding our self confidence, while also suggesting that our approaches to life are better than another’s.
In this post and others to follow I offer reminders for fostering freedom from the debilitating clutches of the internal nemesis. To enable us to accelerate the transformation of our nemeses into aspects enabling our creative expression, and the revealing of ourselves. Some of what I offer is my own. Other bits issue from others’ wisdom.
The subject of this post is my representation of the five messages every personality needs to receive daily. This is the work of Paul and Patty Richards. www.sentecenter.com. Look to them for their exposition of this material.
The five messages relate indirectly to our internal critics. These messages nurture and reclaim the soil of our personalities and thinking mind. They are a convalescence. They make room for us to occupy ourselves freely. In this we begin remembering to remember who we are, our greatness, and what is important to us. In our remembering we more easily overcome the contaminating influences of our own and others’ nemeses – those voices that have too long fostered our forgetting. Messages also change the motion of our own energetic constituencies – those seemingly less tangible parts of ourselves, those fostering our unfolding. Our becoming.
We are to give these five messages honestly and cleanly to others in our lives. It is our giving to them. In doing so, we also honor our own selves. So too, we need to ask those around us to give these messages to us. Do we not eat nutritionally dense foods with awareness and benefit from doing so? So too, we can give and receive these messages with awareness and thus give and receive nurturance and strength.
The intent of these messages is multifaceted. Primarily, it is to see others. It is human nature to help others. Typically we do much in the name of helping that is not helpful. In giving these messages to others, we are genuinely and actually helping others, and ourselves.
1) I see you.
Let those around us know in honest clear detail that we see them – who they really are. When we really see another we see their beauty, their talents and gifts. And we see their struggles and fears. In truly seeing others, it is impossible not to love them.
2) I regret your pain and suffering. I am sorry.
In this message we acknowledge the difficulties and struggles of negotiating the terrain of life. It is saying I’m sorry without carrying the responsibility or blame for the others’ circumstance. In this acknowledging, the other can exhale a bit more easily, more frequently.
3) You are loved and you belong.
The intent of this message is unconditional love. We are communicating to the other that he or she is not alone. Instead, he or she belongs to our group, family, couple, etc. This message is communicated specifically, concretely. It is not an emotional rendering. It is something real. If we are hiking and you fall injuring yourself, this message is saying “I will carry you out. I will take you to proper medical attention. I will take care of you!”
4) I appreciate your contributions and achievements.
Navigating life’s circumstances asks a lot from us. The poet David Whyte said something to the effect that any change and growth we make is equivalent to Jesus walking on water. Our struggles and victories, large and small, need to be acknowledged by another. In our doing so, we, ourselves, self-acknowledged.
5) You are safe with me and from me.
Many of us have not known safety. We have instead known only degrees of jeopardy. In this there is no relaxation. Relaxation is vital to our connection with the heart and soul and Mystery of our lives. Vital to the creative expression of our gifts and the revealing of ourselves to another. We need to be safe for others. We need to look out for others. And we need to communicate with our actions and words that others are safe with and from us.
Other posts will follow speaking to overcoming and transforming the potency of our internal nemeses into personal resources. There may be other topics interspersed, yet more will follow on this topic.